


Dying for your touch

by Heliosthetroll



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Multi, Near Death, Starvation, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 04:36:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20669429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heliosthetroll/pseuds/Heliosthetroll
Summary: When Patton gets touch-starved it becomes a bit more literal than most would think.





	Dying for your touch

Each of the sides was different. Obviously, their personalities were all quite different but it was more than that. Their physical appearances for the most part all blended together to perfectly match Thomas’s whenever he was with them or they were in the real world, minus bigger things like Remus’s hairstreak and mustache and Deceit’s snake half as well as manufactured things like Virgil’s eye shadow and everyone’s clothing, but when they were alone in the mind palace? Their appearances shifted then. 

Logan was the tallest of the group and proud of it, always keeping a straight posture to subtly show it off as well as that just being the logical way to stand to him. It was up for debate whether him or Deceit were thinner since Deceit’s clothing hid it enough that it was hard to tell but Logan was sure to make it clear to anyone who pointed out his thinness that he was just lean because he worked his mind more than his body but that he was perfectly healthy regardless. People had quickly learned not to try and joke about him being a stick for that reason and besides he wasn’t wrong as usual. Logan wasn’t as pale as Virgil but he was paler than most of the others. His face became sharper and more pointed in the mindscape as well, more angular as he liked to say. His hair flattened out a bit but not much really and became better combed and more orderly. Logan’s eyes were often flat and either cold or blank though on rare occasion they could show emotion in them like when he spoke about Crofter’s. 

Roman and Remus were tied for second tallest seeing as they were twin brothers and most of their features were the exact same. Roman liked to claim he was buffer than his brother but they were exactly the same there as well. Despite Remus’s strange eating habits, they both shared that as well as flawlessly white teeth. Remus was just a tiny bit paler than Patton and Roman but not by much and Roman was the most tan of the sides. Their faces were about the same as Thomas’s in shape as well and their hair both flowed a bit more than Thomas’s. Both their eyes often held a bit of spark whether adventurous and courageous or mischievous evil depended on which twin it was. 

Deceit was the next tallest and while there was more of a drop off between him and the twins then there was between them and Logan the change still wasn’t too drastic with the top of Deceit’s head going to just a bit above eye level on them. Deceit’s skin was the closest to Thomas’s natural color being just a bit paler than him. His face was slimmer than Thomas’s and while in the mindscape his tongue thinned and split like a snake’s though his hair under his hat was pretty much the same as Thomas’s. Honestly, overall Deceit was the most like Thomas in appearance minus the face shape and obvious snake-like features. Deceit’s eyes were often the secret to determining lie from truth if the voice didn’t give it away. When he was lying not only would he sometimes smirk a bit but his slightly more slanted eyes would have a little trickstery spark in them that they didn’t when he told the truth. 

It was harder to tell Virgil’s height than the others because while they all mostly held themselves straight in some capacity Virgil slouched almost all the time. Often he appeared to be the shortest because of this but when he did straighten out he was shorter than Deceit but taller than Patton by a little on each end of things. Virgil leaned a bit towards the thinner side, the unhealthy kind of thin too unlike Logan, but it wasn’t too bad and it was often hidden by his layers of clothing too. He was the palest out of all of them and by a decent chunk too. The sun wasn’t exactly his closest friend after all. His face was just a bit chubbier cheeked then Thomas but he hated this and often tried to hide it with makeup when he did his eye shadow in the morning. Even after Thomas had gone back to brown hair in the real world Virgil had held on to the purple in the mindscape. He was still kinda upset he didn’t get to keep it when he was around Thomas too. Other than that his hair also had longer bangs than Thomas’s did that hung just a bit more in his face than they did even in videos and stuff. Virgil’s eyes were really like the window into his soul. While he was getting better about sharing stuff with people and not overacting his aggression or defensiveness to seem tougher he did still have his moments and when he did you just had to look into his eyes and you’d know how he really felt. 

Finally, as the shortest side, there was Patton. He didn’t mind at all being the shortest of the sides and actually often used it to his advantage to bury his face in the chests of Logan and Roman when they hugged and in other ways as well. Patton was probably the chubbiest out of them all though he wasn’t overweight or anything. He just had a bit of extra fluff as he liked to call it. His cheeks and face were no exception to that, being both chubbier than Thomas’s and rounder as well. His skin is also just a tad tanner which he likes to joke is because of his sunny disposition. His hair was poofier and fluffier than Thomas’s and sometimes just a bit messier as well. Patton’s eyes were just a bit rounder than Thomas’s and always held some spark of emotion in them, most often the good optimistic and happy kind. 

Beyond appearances though there were other things that set the sides apart from one another. Things like abilities they had and other little quirks about how they worked as beings and creations of Thomas’s mind. Most quirks were obvious to see or hear. Logan had trouble with sayings and metaphors because they weren’t logical, Deceit had trouble with being truthful though it was possible, and Virgil’s voice boomed and changed when he took control due to an overwhelming amount of anxiety.  
But some were more hidden or even kept as secrets for various reasons. For example, one thing Patton kept very close to the chest is that for him touch is just as important as food. Touch starvation becomes much more literal for the male. But he keeps that hidden because he doesn’t want to make the others caring for him into a requirement or a chore. He’s never gotten too bad before but there are times where Logan is too busy, Virgil is too anxious, and Roman is out of adventures too often for Patton to get any touch from any of them. But he makes it through. The others don’t realize the cuddly movie nights after a stressful week aren’t just for their sakes.  
Then comes the one time when things just got to be too much.

This video was going to be a big one. It was an incredibly big deal and it needed to be good. Thomas has had it planned for a long long time but only this past couple months as he worked on it. And now the deadline is approaching and time is running out to make it perfect. Logan and Roman are working overtime to make sure everything is on track and looks good. Virgil, of course, is way too anxious to come out of his room for more than a couple minutes much less interact with anyone. Even Deceit and Remus are busy, Deceit with the video as well and Remus is overactive because of the stress everyone is feeling. Patton is busy too of course, he’s got big parts in all of this too after all, but that doesn’t stop the fact that everyone else is too busy to interact much with him much less touch him. He’s completely touch starved. Has been for a while now. 

He first notices when he wakes up and goes to eat breakfast as usual, alone as he has been since this all began. He eats a good amount but nothing seems to make a difference. He’s just still hungry. He has no appetite left after eating but his hunger still gnaws at him, telling him that he needs sustenance. He winces as he realizes what this means. He’s gone too long without being touched and it’s starting to starve him. It doesn’t happen as quickly as normal starvation. If he remembers correctly the last time he touched someone was about two weeks ago, but it’s just as bad in every other way. He’d been too busy to notice before but he’s grown thinner. Not by much but all the same he has grown thinner. He frowns softly and his first thought is to set up a movie session but… Everyone is so busy and stressed. He can’t bother them with this right now. They had more important things to tend to, Thomas needed this to be done right. Patton shook his head and tried to distract himself, trying to go about his day as if it was normal. He ate at meals but nothing got rid of his hunger. It still remained and he still didn’t have a single chance to touch anyone all day. 

Time continued to pass and each passing day got worse and worse. His hunger grew more and more intense and his need sharper and sharper. But still he ignored it. His body grew thinner bit by bit until he could count his ribs easily and still he ignored it. The others were busy he reminded himself when he felt tired at ten in the morning after a good night’s sleep. They didn’t have time to touch him and that wasn’t their fault he reminded himself when he got dizzy after standing up. The project needed to be done well he reminded himself when he nearly passed out while walking from upstairs to downstairs to have lunch. He eventually stopped eating as well. He didn’t have the energy to get downstairs and it didn’t really help his hunger to go away anyway. He spent his time in his room, trying to get things done but so low on energy that it was difficult. He was tired all the time and eventually just had himself confined to his bed out of pure lack of energy to go anywhere else. He was a stick at this point, barely alive if he were to be a real human. 

It was only when he got this bad that Logan found out about his state. He’d noticed that Patton hadn’t been leaving food out for them like he usually did when he made meals so he’d decided to go see why only to open the door and find Patton in clothing that was three days old and clearly was too baggy for his now very skinny body as he lay in his bed staring glassy-eyed at the wall. 

“Patton?!” Logan rushed worriedly to his side and his hand went to Patton’s shoulder instantly which made him give a soft sound and weakly turn his head to look at Logan. “Patton, what in the world happened to you have you not been eating? You looked starved.” Patton can’t get up the energy to respond to Logan and simply watches quietly as the side tries to figure out what to do. He’s not nearly as strong as Roman so he can’t lift the other side so the best option is to wake the others and go get Patton some food. He didn’t understand what was going on. Patton wasn’t one to starve himself. He was often the one reminding them they needed to eat something if they got too busy and forgot. So why had he done this? “I’ll be right back Patton.” Patton gave a soft upset sound as Logan moved away from him and Logan paused in confusion but he didn’t know what else to do.

Logan hurried out of the room and called out to the others. “Roman! Virgil! Patton’s hurt!” That wasn’t quite what it was but he was in a rush and it achieved the goal he wanted anyway. And then some as Roman and Virgil not only burst out of their rooms but Deceit and Remus showed up as well. It was strange seeing them when it wasn’t time for a video but no one really had time to think about why they were there much as Logan rushed to get Patton food and Roman and Virgil ran to Patton’s room, the ones they usually fought so intensely hot on their heels. 

Logan returned with a hurriedly made ham and cheese sandwich to find Roman holding Patton’s left hand in both of his own and Virgil worriedly holding his shoulder in one hand from Patton’s right side, both sitting on the bed on either side of Patton while he sits on a stack of pillows that had been set up to support him easier. Patton was disoriented clearly but was squeezing Roman’s hand and slightly leaning into Virgil’s worried touch. Deceit and Remus were at the end of the bed, standing there watching but not daring to come close for fear of retaliation from the protective two beside Patton. Deceit looked calm if you didn’t look into his human eye which showed the worry he was trying to hide. Remus was confusing to try and read. He was smiling and reveling in the pain and fear in the room but his eyes held a mix of joy and concern and surprising lucidity. He was being fueled by the scene but that didn’t mean he enjoyed it is the conclusion Logan hurriedly rushed to as he hurried to sit in front of Patton by his feet with the sandwich in hand, offering it out to Patton quickly. “Eat Patton.” He urged. Patton weakly managed one shake of his head and Logan frowned deeply. Virgil opened his mouth, likely to ask what Patton meant no but Deceit spoke before he could. “That’s not what he needs, at least not first and foremost.” All eyes turned to Deceit. Patton’s eyes were still glassy but held shock vaguely in them while Logan was confused alongside Roman and Virgil suspicious and accusatory. 

“What are you talking about Deceit?” Virgil said, clearly not trusting him. Deceit sighs and tries to keep his composure as he responds to the former dark side. “I’m Deceit. When someone is lying, even to themselves, I can tell.” There was a wave of fear and suspicion that went through all the sides except for Remus as they thought about the lies they often told. But Deceit didn’t stop. “And Patton has been lying for quite a long time.” Patton seems slightly frightened of what Deceit might say and it made Virgil bristle. “Patton doesn’t lie.” “Everyone lies.” Deceit shoots back at the purple wearing side. “Even the representation of morality. His reasons for lying are just entirely selfless, too selfless.” Logan speaks up hesitantly. “What has he been lying about?” Deceit turns his gaze to the logical side. “What he needs.” “Stop being vague and spit it out already snake-face,” Roman said, his insults off their game because of his worry over Patton. Deceit sighs again. “He’s literally touch-starved.”

It takes a few moments for that to sink in for the others and for them to realize what Deceit means but as soon as they do they’re all turning to Patton who is hanging his head in shame. Roman moves one hand from Patton’s to his shoulder gently and Virgil scoots a bit closer. Logan, however, does something none of them expected him to but after a moment of thought made logical sense. He reached forward and hugged Patton, pulling him close and connecting their bodies wherever he could. Patton gasped out softly before melting into the contact quickly. Roman and Virgil quickly join in once they get over their shock at Logan’s actions and Patton feels the touch filling him and fueling him. It’ll take quite a bit more to get him fully back to normal but it returns just a small bit of fat to his body and brings him away from the brink of death a bit. He’d cry but he doesn’t have the liquid to spare as the three light sides shower their fourth in love while the two dark sides watch from the sidelines. But then Logan turns to them. “He needs as much as he can get. Get over here.” Both Deceit and Remus are shocked and turn to look at each other before slowly moving over and joining the hug, Deceit fitting himself between Virgil and Logan and Remus fitting in between Roman and Logan. Deceit glances warily at Virgil as he hugs Patton but Virgil is too focused on Patton to care. 

Slowly they bring Patton away from the edge enough for him to speak. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs to them all. He’s quickly shushed by Virgil and Logan speaks. “Don’t be sorry Patton.” He assures. “I’m sure you had a valid reason for doing this even if we wish you hadn’t.” Patton gives a soft sound and nods gently. “I didn’t want to bother you all when you were busy and ask to be touched…” Virgil scoffs. “Sorry, Pat you know I care about you but that’s a stupid reason.” He says bluntly, earning a glare from Roman. Patton just shakes his head. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you, Virgil. And Roman and Logan were working so hard…” He leaves out the dark sides but they all know why he didn’t go to them for help. Remus doesn’t mind too much and Deceit is hurt but understands especially why Patton of all the sides wouldn’t come to him. Roman speaks first. “Patton we’re never too busy for you compadre!” Logan nods and Virgil speaks next. “And you spending time holding me and watching movies with me is some of my calmest times,” Logan adds his piece next. “We all care for you much more than our work Patton. Self-care is important if you want to be able to be productive as well.” Deceit is cautious but adds on to things as well. “I may be a liar but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about morals.” “Without you, it’s so much more boring around here!” Remus finishes. Patton melts further into their contact, burying his head against Logan’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around the rest of them. They all hold each other close as he speaks. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” “It’s no problem at all Patton,” Virgil assures. Logan nods. “Once you are feeling well enough you can eat and drink and we can all spend the next couple of days together.” “But the project-” Patton tries to protest only for Roman to interrupt. “Is not nearly as important as you.” Patton opened his mouth to lie and say he’d be fine but Deceit interrupted this time. “Don’t bother Patton.” Slowly the animal-loving side’s mouth closes and he gives in, allowing them to hold him if only for now.

Later Patton would eat and they’d move downstairs to the couch to cuddle there and watch movies. Deceit and Remus would try to leave only to be told by Patton to get their butts back there and they’d obey, still surprised they were being allowed this, however. Eventually, Patton would try to assure them he was fine and send them back off to work but they’d all refuse, forcing him to continue to enjoy their contact, not that he truly minded as long as they didn’t. It would take a few days break and Thomas would have to delay his project for some self-care days but slowly Patton would recover and within the week he was completely back to normal. Only then would they go back to work, finishing the project not long after, but always making sure to check up on Patton and give him a hug or some other kind of contact at least once a day each. Even the dark sides would visit sometimes though much more rarely. There would be suspicion at first but as soon as they stated they were here for Patton, or told an obvious lie in Deceit’s case, it was dropped and they were allowed to do what they wanted to give him what he needed. Patton told them over and over again it wasn’t needed but every time he’d be assured that no one minded. Things weren’t perfect but they were better and from that moment on Patton never had to worry about having a hunger he couldn’t get rid of again.


End file.
